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第4章 铁血真汉子

　　In the course of his present stay in Chicago, Drouet paid someslight attention to the secret order to which he belonged.During his last trip he had received a new light on itsimportance.

　　Such feelings as were generated in Carrie by this walk put her inan exceedingly receptive mood for the pathos which followed inthe play. The actor whom they had gone to see had achieved hispopularity by presenting a mellow type of comedy, in whichsufficient sorrow was introduced to lend contrast and relief tohumour. For Carrie, as we well know, the stage had a greatattraction. She had never forgotten her one histrionicachievement in Chicago. It dwelt in her mind and occupied herconsciousness during many long afternoons in which her rocking-chair and her latest novel contributed the only pleasures of herstate. Never could she witness a play without having her ownability vividly brought to consciousness. Some scenes made herlong to be a part of them--to give expression to the feelingswhich she, in the place of the character represented, would feel.Almost invariably she would carry the vivid imaginations awaywith her and brood over them the next day alone. She lived asmuch in these things as in the reali

　　Right after came one of the insignificant members of the company,and she heard the changed tone of address.

　　As the first half-hour waned, certain characters appeared. Hereand there in the passing crowds one might see, now and then, aloiterer edging interestedly near. A slouchy figure crossed theopposite corner and glanced furtively in his direction. Anothercame down Fifth Avenue to the corner of Twenty-sixth Street, tooka general survey, and hobbled off again. Two or three noticeableBowery types edged along the Fifth Avenue side of Madison Square,but did not venture over. The soldier, in his cape overcoat,walked a short line of ten feet at his corner, to and fro,indifferently whistling.

　　"Well, you'll want to make up your mind pretty soon, won't you,if we're going?" she returned.

　　To say truly, this would have been Carrie's attitude in any case.She had looked back at times upon her parting from Drouet and hadregretted that she had served him so badly. She hoped she wouldnever meet him again, but she was ashamed of her conduct. Notthat she had any choice in the final separation. She had gonewillingly to seek him, with sympathy in her heart, when Hurstwoodhad reported him ill. There was something cruel somewhere, andnot being able to track it mentally to its logical lair, sheconcluded with feeling that he would never understand whatHurstwood had done and would see hard-hearted decision in herdeed; hence her shame. Not that she cared for him. She did notwant to make any one who had been good to her feel badly.

　　"I have had such a nice time," said Carrie, when it was all overand they were coming out.

　　"Well, let her have it," he said. "I won't bother her."

　　"Oh, I don't know whether I can get up and say it off here," shesaid bashfully.